life is cool. brah brah brah. things are neat. blah blah blah.

My gramma's 80th birthday party was last weekend. She got a blow up doll named "Jack in the Box" and a pinata filled with toupees, condoms, denture cream, and pregnancy tests. It was a riot. I want to go camping next weekend but Allegheny is booked. Any other cool suggestions as to where to go?

Also. I really am missing being in school. This summer off crap is for the birds. I've resorted to playing online Escape Series games and readings stupid female magazines that crush my already frail self esteem into a million little pieces and make me snort it up my nose.

Me and Max are like two room mates who happen to makeout occasionally. It's a blast, really.

Who got a new haircut? THIS GIRL. I got bangs. They kinda get in my face and make me squint but everybody likes them so Ill try to get along with them.

My neighborhood sucks, it's pretty shitty. This morning I was standing outside my car on my phone trying to speak to a woman at AAA when a crackhead lady pushing a bummy man in a wheel chair came by and the two of them decided to start arguing and screaming at each othe less than five feet away from me. Then the bummy wheelchair guy fell out of his chair and onto the parking lot. The crackheady lady walked away, causing him to start screaming "MICHELEEEEE!!! COME BACK HERE!!!" Meanwhile the lad I am trying to talk to asks me whats wrong and I have to explain to her why Im not helping the bum in the wheelchair off the ground. Because he probably doesn't even need the frickin wheel chair. In fact, I saw him stand up, brush himself off, and sit his lazy ass back down.

I watched a guy get robbed and beat up in brood daylight the other day. I called the police and tried getting the four or five doods all standing around to try and help but of course the wouldnt help, they thought it was funny. I now carry pepper spray, as I lost my mace to the boarder patrol long time ago.

I hope everyones summer is going well. Mine is filled with hours of uncertainty, fear, anxiety, anxiousness, and the occasional hopeful moment when I think of what could happen someday. Max makes it a little better too. I don't know why I'm so down, I really have everything a girl could possibly ask for, besides friends to hangout with. Oh well, can't have everything!

Goodbye

Hi I'm alive! Last day of classes tomorrow, finals next week.

me=happy.

Twitter

What is it?
Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent messages. People write short updates, often called "tweets" of 140 characters or fewer. These messages are posted to your profile or your blog, sent to your followers, and are searchable on Twitter search.

You can updte twitter like you would send a text message. So instead of sending your best friend/boyfriend/sister/whoever a million witty little texts all day, you can send them to your twitter account jut by sending them to a number they give you. So say your standing in line at the grocery store, and theres a lady with a wicked unibrow standing in front of you, instead of texting your friend something about it, you cn actually take a picture and post it on yur account right then and there, with a funny caption, like, "got razor?" Kindof fucked up yes, but oh so cool. to be honest with you, i probably wouldnt have even bothered to make one had I not heard that John Mayor and Ashton Kutcher are all over that shit. Then I asked Christian about it because I knew him and all his guy friends had them, and he told me more about it. Its pretty cool. You can also communicate with people via text messages who are your twitter friends, or send tet without using your phone (I got one last night from a twitter friend) its pretty neato, ya'll should give it a try. I like it because you can only type small amounts of text, its not like lj where you are feel like you have to either write a lot or nothing at all. On twitter, you can do whatever you want. Its like instant messaging your livejournal.

Tonight I made two new things, homemade steak fries and a twitter account. Add melissafication to your Twitter and AIM now!

I love our apartment!

The location is perfect. Around the corner from a coop, down the street from one of my fvorite shopping areas in rochester, around the corner form my favorite bar Mex...and oh yeah across the street from one of the awesomest show venues in Rochester. Our friends Tom and Laura came over the other day with greeneries and we proceeded to get wasted and yell "ITS A TRAP!!!" to all the smokers hanging outside of Bugjar. It was quite entertaining, even though Im sure nobody heard us, seeing as we are up so high I cant even really fathom them hearing us through all the traffic of the city...What else...Oh yeah we walked to the St. Paddys day parade down the street on Saturday...SO MANY DRUNK PEOPLE!!! We decided to stay sober seeing as we had plans for the evening (although I cant remember what..) and I had a paper due...Tuesday was fun, we went to my friend Jess's for some drunken "Three Man" and some good times...

I got accepted into the SUNY School of Enviromental Science and Forestry in Syracuse. I think I might go if they pay me enough...Either way, I am graduating from Monroe this spring, and Im not ready to leave. So I reapplied as a freshman and will officially be working on my second Assocciates Degree starting this summer (Just kidding, Im not actually going to be working on a degree) But I did have to enroll in SOME degree program in order for financial aid to pay for my schooling. So enrolled in the chemistry program, seeing as I will be taking the majority of those classes anyways. Im taking my whole sequence of Physics this summer (so I wont have to at my NEXT school) and finishing up my chemistry, math, and a few art courses this fall.

I did end up getting a really nice scholarship from SUNY Purchase but I have declined. Its definitley an oddball and not very high on my priority list of schools.

We got the apartment!

So as of March 3rd, 2009 I will officially be living in my own place again.

So as of March 3rd, 2009 I will be doing the one thing I said I'd never do again.

So as of March3rd, 2009 I will be living with a man, unmarried.

I hope this is the right decision for us! Its a scary thing!! I'm excited, happy, and nervous and scared all at the same time. I mean, I love him very much and this is what Ive wanted for like forever, but its always a big risk, you know? I havent really lived with a guy in like three years, and I love living with my mom and Tommy..But Im a little more grown up and a little more mature and a tad bit in love (ok, REALLY in love) so I think this might be good...

We spent the past few months talking about menu's and decorating do's and don'ts...

today we walked around Home Depot picking out plants and carpets and parts to make our book shelves/record shelves...

so I guess this is really happening...

I must admit, Im a happy girl. :)

Wow, so far so good! Its been a whole couple a months without anything too horrible happening (I guess this is an entirely subjective word to use, something "minor" to me is usually life devestating to others...) I guess finding out some recent health issues with a friend, and my dad are getting me down, but I guess thats a part of life, death that is..

I had a wonderful Valentines Day! I spent the day with Max and ASH!!! She came up to Rochester to see me (he has been spending the weekends here) so we spent the day at the Strong Museum of Play, which we snuck into, playing with toys and havin fun. That night me and Max dressed up and went to a super nice Sushi restaurant that just opened on South Clinton...It was really nice. I got him a Syracuse Basketball jersey and hat that he wanted, he got me an antique jewelry box filled with a ton of antique pearls and earrings and necklaces. It was an awesome surprise, and just what I like :)

The next day we went to the Science Museum, which is way more fun than the Museum of Play. I've been to both and still love the Science Museum out of everything in Rochester. I found a room I like even more, now that I know a bit more about Protists. There is a display of what is inside a drop of pond water, represented by obviously giant figures. I could (without reading the descriptions) name at least the phylum if not the genus of most of the organisms. It was really cool, because we just finished studying them in my Biology class. Shitty part was, I had just taken a quiz on all of them Friday, and I would have done much better had I seen this display before hand..

anyhoo. Monday was productive. Maxhad another job interview, last week was at Paychex, this week was at the Sutherland Group. He thinks he may have gotten both jobs but we are hoping Paychex calls back first. Although Sutherland pays more hourly, comminssion at Paychex is much higher and we've heard from numerous people that paycecx is a great company to work for.

Hopefully he'll get some sort of job. We kinda just put a security deposit down on an apartment here in Rochester!! We aren't really sure if we actually "have" the apt yet, as they still have to check out our application (which I fibbed a lil bit on...)...But we HAD to take it, its in a perfect location (corner of Monroe and S. Union, right across the street from Bugjar) and the rent is cheap (595, includes heat) and its a two-bed, with a dining room. Hardwood floors. Its defintley in need of some decorating but with enough plants and paintings I think it we be quite charming..

I hope this all works out!

ps: stop the vag talk! nothing changes except there's less to love!

So the Superbowl is on right now...A few thoughts..

-Those horse commercials are AMAZING. I absolutley love Budweiser for making them...

-Hulu is advertising on TV? Man I've been hipped to Hulu for over a year, now all the shmucks out there will be watching it and slowin my shit down...fuck....

-My mom got us 3D glasses, Max says they look cute on me but I say they give me a headache...

-Speaking of football, and Max, our one year anniversary was over a month ago, so to celebrate we went to the Bills/Patriots game, it was the last game of the Bills season and the best game ot lose our live-NFL-game-virginity to. We had never seen a live game and my favorite team vs his fav team was perfect. However we were NOT fans of the 70 MPH winds and freezing rain that disabled our grill and abilities to tailgate...Oh well, there is always next season :)

-I made chicken wing dip for the first time today, and man that shit is effen amazing! I highly recommend it with pork rinds. Just make sure you have a defibillator handy

-Morissey tickets are sold out :( anyone got any to spare??

-Maxi is adorable. He doesnt know what LJ stands for...

-I cant wait for the new Lily Allen album to come out!!! February 10th!!!!

- I really with the Cardinals werent sucking so much ass right now...

-School is going ok, made the deans list last semester, if I can keep it up one more I think Ill be satisfied to have a less than perfect grade...

-I am actually ENJOYING chemistry right now. Probably because I have an awesomely enthusiastic grampa-like teacher...Biology on the other hand is starting off on a sucky note, my prof sucks and ruined out bacteria samples last week so we already are behind a three hour long lab...

-So finding a job for Max in Rochester is proving to be quite challenging...He has an interview with Paychex next Monday, wish him luck :)

-We are looking at apartments...Either a two bedroom for both of us or a one bed/studio for him. I dont really want us to share a one bed and definitley not a studio unless its huuuge. So we are looking for a two bed within the city, heat included, under $650 a month...Is this possible? Probably not. Will we try? Absolutely!

-I love my Pathfinder. Nissan rules.

-Lately Ive been selling a lot of art stuff.. I havent been making anything new, with the exception of a wooden puzzle star I burned over break, which seemed to start this whole wave of orders. Its kinda nice having people come up to ME to buy my stuff as opposed to having to go out and sell it myself...Now I just need some time to make more, and set it up on Etsy...

-One hour episode of Office post-superbowl. Fuckin flav!

I MISS YOU CHRISTIAN!!!!!!

I'll see you Friday before work, that will be good. I wish you would have called me back last night, I hate talking while I am at work.


blahhhhmissyouuuuu

I feel like life started speeding up when I turned 16. Every year seems to go by quicker and quicker, but Ive come to realize that its not that time is going by quicker, but that as I get older, I get more discontent about the time that passes. Its as if we know that life is going and we are dying and we get upset about this and blame it on time. Really, if we just accepted that all things will eventually end (this life included), I think we would be a happier group of folks.

Your biweekly update should be short and sweet.

My 24th birthday was great. Max came to Rochester the night before on the bus so I didnt have to drive. Spent half the day at school and the other half with him and my mom...

My mom made delish carrot cake with cream cheese frosting <3

Max got me a new digi cam, as my old one finally kicked the bucket a few months ago...

After dinner he took me to the car where he blindfolded me, and proceded to drive me to an unknown location.

Turns out he was taking me to the cafe behind the Little Theatre where we caught some jazz, drank some beers and played hangman. It was sweet.

Afterwards we went to our favorite bar, Mex.

Friday night we also went to Mex, but thim time my friend Kaitlin, her girlfriend Raika, my friend Geo, and his girlfriend Alex met up with us. Got FACED and ended up going back to Kaitlin and Raikas for some greeneries and such.

Saturday we drove home to stinky Niagara Falls. Fell asleep super early, didnt do shit, it was wonderful...

Sunday, woke up, too a ton of pics of Max and his brother and sister for a Christmas project I'm working on....Later on I took my gramma Morgan shopping, then we picked up Max and met up with my Uncle Kev and Grampa Morgan for dinner at Chu's on Main. It was nice, definitley no Changs Garden, but hey, you can't win them all.

My gramma got me one of those super trendy metal water canteens by Swiss that cost way too much and are supposedly great on the enviroment (that is, if you actually drink a lot of water, as I thankfully do..) as it saves us from using disposable cups and water bottles. Its adorable its black and white with a blue gorilla on it. EXTRA bonus comes in extra credit in my ANT 101 class just for buying it FUCK YEAH!

Speaking of school. I am soooooo ready for this break. I feel like I might break soon. Just 6 tests to go. WOO!

oh, and BY THE WAY....CONGRADULATIONS DAVIN AND CARISSA!!!!

so awesome!

So I met this girl today (ok, I didnt actually meet her today, I just discovered this fact about her today...) that she didn't know the definition of the word "despair."

As in, she had no idea what the word meant. I overheard her asking this guy I work with what it meant, after he told her that winter was coming so he was filling with despair.

I dont know this girl very well, but I have always gotten the impression that she is somewhat of a flake (but hey, then again, who am I to judge?)....

So I can't tell if shes REALLY dumb, or really lucky, to have never experienced feelings of the word "despair" to have to add it to her lexicon of words she knows.

Either way, it was quite strange having to explain the meaning of a word Ive known the meaning to for as long as I can remember speaking, to a girl who is a few years older than me. Any thoughts?

The Sapir-Worpf hypothesis says that language shapes thought. Meaning, if you have a large vocabulary of words to describe something that other people may have only a few words to describe, then that something takes on more meaning to you, as you can put it into catagories and take it apart and break it up into more and more detailed thoughts about one particuliar thing. You can pinpoint exactly what it is thats happening, or what an object is, whatever the word. You actually EXPERIENCE that word differently than the person who can't quite put meaning to that word.

Assuming this is really true, then if she has never known or used the word "despair," has she actually ever experienced it, the way that those of us who have experienced it think we have?

Merriam-Websters dictionary:
Main Entry: de·spair
Pronunciation: \di-ˈsper\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English despeiren, from Anglo-French desperer, from Latin desperare, from de- + sperare to hope; akin to Latin spes hope — more at speed
Date: 14th century
intransitive verb
: to lose all hope or confidence
transitive verb
obsolete : to lose hope for


Theres a few more things I myself would add to that definition, but see thats exactly where the question remains. Even if you do have a word in your lexicon, you cannot really understand it until you give it your own meaning. Maybe she didnt have a word called "despair" in her vocabulary, but maybe she used the word "sad" or something equivalent to describe the same feelings I feel when I use the word "despair." So does that mean we think differently? Not individually. We would both feel the same way towards a given situation, but when we COMMUNICATED with each other, I would take her usage of whatever verb she chose one way, and she might mean it another.

She could say, "Ive been feeling pretty sad lately, when I think about the economy"

While I would say "The way the economy is going, the thought of my future fills me with despair."

We both might mean the same thing (her implying that a lagging economy effects her adversely, and me actually stating the obvious) However I feel like one reading both sentences might find one a bit more emotionally invocating, and perhaps relatable. Maybe from somoene who knows the emotions attached to that word of "despair?"

I guess my thoughts on this is that we are all people, and we feel very similiarly towards many things, but we wouldnt really know it, because so many of us speak in so many different ways, languages, and with so many different vocabularies. So I guess if you are speaking to someone you may find unrelatable, try to speak their language, and look for meaning behind their what they say as it may be deeper than the words they are using. Identify what is really being said, it might help us all communicate and relate a little bit better.

I bought a new car, well not brand new, just new for me. I got a Nissan Pathfinder. Its amazing, gas will be a bit more becasue it has a V6 engine but I will pay the extra for piece of mind. No deer is gonna hurt me ever again! Its really nice, power windows/doors/4 wheel drive/ sunroof/ hitch on the back/ bike rack up top...I love it, its green and nice...

I applied to anohter 4 schools, none of which I really want to go to. So far Ive applied to Penn State, UB, Buff State, Purchase, and the school of enviromental science and forestry...Not quite ready to apply to either of the schools I REALLY want to go to (Cornell or Columbia) but I will, soon...

I also traded on my laptop for a new one...Its a Powerbook G4....Except its loaded with extras...Ram....memory...all that good stuff..Bob hooked me up!

I really want the new Cure album (I know, WEIRD RIGHT??? WHO AM I, SUZIE??? JK!!) but NO I dont want to pay for it (Robert Smith even said that buying an album was crazy...) But I cant seem to get the whole album..I got a few songs, the rest are coming out as fuzzy, like a tv with no cable...snowy is the word I think....Anyhooo...Im actually contemplating purchasing it off Amaon, where its currently going for 5 bux used...Ive never bought stuff off Amazon before..looks like I might have my amazon virginity taken tonight (ooOOOo Im nervous!! IS THIS GONNA HURT?!?!?!!)

So me and Max are having a great weekend...

Friday was went to a Haunted House, then to a bar that we have been wanting to go to (The best part was hearing Max scream and hold onto me for dear life....hehe...)

Saturday we went to Corning, NY. It is such an adorable town, they have a bunch of art shops and of course the Glass Museum (which we went to, and it was awesome!)

We went out for drinks, sampled a shit ton of beers brewed at the local brewery...

Pumpkin and Mexican Martinis....

Delicious foods...

Espressos at a local (adorable) shop...Baklava...

You get the point, everythings going great.

Then Max and I are driving home in my car...

And I'm talking, some song is playing, and all of a sudden, he goes "Oh shit" I look over at him and BAM! I feel us hit something and see out of the corner of my eye both airbags go off...

The car gets really smokey, hard to see or beathe...We pull over, get out, and I ask, "What happenened?" I look around and can't make out what we hit...

He says, "I think we hit a deer." Apparently at this point (I wouldnt know because I wasnt looking) the carcass of the deer we had just hit came spinning back towards the side of the road where we were standing. I called the police and not two minutes later a man pulled over and asked us if he could have the meat. We said "Sure! Have our deer carcass, even though we spent over $4000 on it lol..." Andways, the police get there about 10 minutes later and the man proceeds to tear apart the deer right there on the side of the road...

My car is totaled (well, if it isnt it sure is going to cost my insurance some money...)

Thankfully this time I have full coverage on my car...And it will be paid for...Unlike the last deer we hit in my last Pontiac Sunfire...I have the worst luck with that type of car and deer....

But now I am stuck without a car. My insurance won't pay for a rental, and my moms friend Larry (who I usually borrow cars from when I need repairs or whatever) doesnt have a spare for me right now...So I might just get a rental on my own until this is taken care of...I can't afford to not have transportation...I work a million jobs and go to school full-time...oh well we will figurei bt out...

We are ok. My face is burned on one side from the airbag and I have some cuts on the side from the windshield....But other than that, I am fine. Max is ok too, his back is a little sore but i think we will be ok...

His birthday is tomorrow, we will try to make the most of it...

In other news, I will be graduating this srping (unfortunatley) and am unsure how I am going to pay for the additional classes I need to go to Cornell. My school has a new policy going into effect that makes me unable to get the classes that I need to take paid for, if they are outside of my intended major. So my summer Physics class and my four classes next fall will not be paid for, unless my counselor can find some sort of loophole for me. She said Im the first case she has had where this has happenned and she is still unsure of how to handel it. So more to come on that....

Anyone know of a decent, small car for sale??

Bitter feelings will get you nowherez. Freal!

So chill out, crazy!

And Happy Halloween! I'll be spending the weekend in my city with my baby!!!

His birthday is Monday, I promise it will be the best!!!

Next weeekend we might fly to San Diego!!!!

Lastminute.com is amazing!!

I love Max!!!

That is all!!!

WOO!!!!

I have what appears to be a sinus infection. Half my nose and one of my eyes hurts a lot and my eye keeps getting cloudy. I don't really need this right now. I'mm on Max's health insurance (we are "domestic partners") however I've never had to use it and Im a little afraid to, because well, we aren't "domestic partners" in the sense that the law implies (we aren't gay...) sooo....any advice???? (Legal or medical, anything to make this go away!!!)

I didn't need a survey to know who I was voting for, but I took it anyways. Even though I have supported Obama from the beginning, I don't feel like this survey did a really good job at informing me of the actual stands that each candidate took on the issues. I mean come on, the first question regarding the enviroment had two very broad and unclear choices to pick from, at that point it doesn't matter who supports what, they sounded the exact same way on the issue. Whatevs.

You preferred Obama's statements 78% of the time You preferred McCain's statements 22% of the time Voting purely on the issues you should vote Obama Who would you vote for if you voted on the issues? Find out now!

Things have been awesome (I have my ups and downs, but for the most part its ups)

Me and Max have been dating almost 10 months (continuously...) and our moms finally met each other today. At first it was a little nerve-racking but after a few minutes we realized that they will probably not see each other that often anyways, and when they do they can keep the convo light-hearted, just the way it needs to be kept.. All in all, it was nice.

His whole family is coming to my house here in Rochester for Thanksgiving. Now THAT is going to be chaos. His mother, my mother, his sister and brother, his gramma, my step-dad, and Rambo. How cute (and insane, what were these women thinking???)

This weekend was great. We went to a wine and cheese party at my friend Jess' house and after went to my friend Ians for some "tea." The "tea" wasn't normal tea, it was made of the bulbs of poppy plants (aka Opium) and I ended up getting insanely painful stomach pains and spent the night trying to vomit on Ian's floor. My baby drove us home safely (thank goodness) and my pains went away by morning. NEVER AGAIN!! Don't even try it, its the worst idea EVER. Unless you want to, in which case I have a few bulbs leftover if anyone wants them...

What else..Oh yes,....I had my interview with Cornell. I was both disappointed, relieved, and terrified all at once upon leaving. Because the following situation transpired and changed my plans for school a bit.

Ok, originally the plan was laid out by my "Pathways Coordinator" (aka the lady who is helping me get into Cornell at my school) to finish school here in Rochester at MCC this summer. I would have to take the final sequence of chemistry I need this summer as well as Calculus 2. I would be entering Cornell in Fall of 2009 as a SOPHOMORE (not a junior, as I should be...)

HOWEVER.

Upon speaking with and planning with my contact at Cornell she advised me that it is not up to my current adviser nor me to decide whether or not I will be entering Cornell as a sophmore or a junior, but Cornell. (I think this has something to do with Cornell be an ivy-league, and the fact that they are offering me free tuition while I am there, so they would have to pay for an extra year of me going there if I start as a sophomore....)
So anyways the gist of it is that I am going to have to enter Cornell as a junior. In order to do this however I must take all the nessesary classes I need to take before I am allowed in as a junior. This includes Physics I and II. So, I am going to have to take Physics I this summer, and Physics II in the fall, as well as my final sequence of Chem in the fall and Calc 2 in the fall (so that this summer all I have to take is Physics I.) And I will be entering Cornell a semester late (January 2010) however I will be entering as a junior, not a sophmore and therefore will be graduating only a half a semester behind, as opposed to a full year.


So the moral of the story is kiddies....

You CAN start college with no definitive plan as to what you want to do or where you want to go. HOWEVER. All schools that you have the potential to transfer to have different requirements before you may enter them. Some of those requirements need to be begun in your very first semester of school, so that the entire "sequence" can be done in your two years at a community college. So not having a plan from the very start can impact your long-term objectives. PLAN NOW AND AIM HIGH!

Ok, Im getting off my soapbox now (and studying for my math test tomorrow...)

I have nothing to say right now. I only post entries when Im sad or just have a lot to say and some time to say it. Right now I have both but I'm at a loss as to where to start.

Things are hectic, life is hard. Classes are ok, I got a really good grade on something I thought I did horrible on today. My teachers keep telling me I need more confidence, my mom keeps telling me I need more self esteem. I think I need more than either of these things. I need a break from life and the current stresses that Ive been bugging out over.

Anyways, if anyone feels like talking, I broke another phone and need all your numbers again for the millionth time. Text them (my numbers the same...585....) or send them some other way. I need to talk to ssomeone besides those in my immediate surroundings because its them thats starting to stress me out. So if we havent talked in awhile, perfect. Please call.

adios